


Blessed Mourners

by nightmare_ned (youwantthat1D)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 09:54:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youwantthat1D/pseuds/nightmare_ned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The blessed mourn and the cursed remember. Character death. Slight NaruSasu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blessed Mourners

_Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted._

X

The day Sasuke died, so did Naruto.

There were few tears on the day of his burial. That was to be expected. A few village elders whisper sadly, remembering the glorious days of the Uchiha clan and the tragedy of the last of its members.

Instead, Neji remembers first meeting the young and passionate Sasuke. Neji remembers him in the Forest of Death, and how he saved Sakura from those sound ninjas, overwhelmed with the dark powers of the Cursed Seal. He thinks that was the beginning of his descent. Neji remembers chasing after Sasuke, not only for Naruto's sake, but for the village's as well. Neji realizes the impact of his death. Neji is thoughtful, but not sad.

Instead, Lee remembers fighting Sasuke the day the Chunin Exams began. Lee remembers being amazed at the boy's cool attitude and remarkable skills. He remembers thinking that Sasuke would be a worthy opponent and possibly a good friend – maybe the Kakashi to his Gai. Lee remembers seeing Sasuke charge through Gaara's indestructible forces with hand ablaze in hot white flames. He remembers hoping to one day overcome that power. Lee thinks about how Naruto is faring. Lee is disappointed, but not sad.

Instead, Shikamaru remembers how all Ino ever talked about was Sasuke. Shikamaru remembers being vaguely jealous of the guy, but too lazy to do much about it. He remembers watching Sasuke battle Yoroi and force back the Cursed Seal when it threatened to take control. Shikamaru wonders why he couldn't have done that later. Shikamaru remembers chasing after Sasuke when he left the village; he distinctly remembers what it felt like after: the bitter disappointment and the pain of his own failure to protect his friends. He is thankful of Sasuke; Sasuke made him become a better leader, a better Shinobi, and a better friend. He thinks about how much Sasuke's death is worth. Shikamaru is displeased, but not sad.

Instead, Ino remembers how hard she pined over Sasuke all those years. Ino remembers how Sasuke broke up her friendship to Sakura, but helped them mature as well. Ino remembers how people always talked about how Naruto inspired them to become better people. She remembers thinking about how Sasuke was the one who inspired Naruto. Ino is discouraged, but not sad.

Instead, Hinata remembers thinking how happy she'd be if Naruto only looked at her the way he did Sasuke. Hinata is dejected, but not sad.

No one had to say how Sakura and Kakashi felt. Ever gesture, every movement, spoke volumes. Disillusionment – despondency – leaves a very poignant path.

If you asked any of those people why they were not sad, each one would tell you to look at Naruto.

The day Sasuke died, so did Naruto.

* * *

Standing at the memorial for fallen Shinobi, Tsunade thinks about what it means to be a hero. She wonders if giving up your dreams for a friend counts as being a hero. After all, he did save Naruto's life in the Wave country.

Tsunade wonders if eliminating a terrorist of Konoha counts as being a hero. After all, Sasuke did kill Orochimaru before his death.

Tsunade wonders if letting your own brother, a missing nin of Konoha, die without intervening is being a hero – even though Itachi would have never hurt the village. After all, Sasuke did let his brother die.

Tsunade thinks about Sasuke's new team – the one with Zabuza's sword, the little kid with orange hair, and the girl with flaming red hair –, waiting and wallowing outside the village, hidden in the trees. She wonders if Sasuke saved them. Does that qualify as being a hero?

Tsunade then decides that none of these means being a hero. Tsunade carves Sasuke's name into the stone.

She decides being a hero is choosing the harder choice to step in and pull a comrade from death's door, even at the cost of one's own life. She decides being a hero means choosing to battle a greater evil than one's own demons, to place the life of strangers – villagers from a hated village –before one's own. She decides that being a hero means letting one's body get shredded to strips of bloodied meat to save a friend, so that friend may live to fulfill his own dreams. She decides that choosing give up one's life for nothing more than another person's life – whether important or not – is being a hero. Heroism is nothing more than calculated choices taken in uncalculated moments.

The day Sasuke died, so did Naruto.

* * *

The village, after Sasuke's death, is a miasma of monochrome colors to Naruto. Everything – everyone – moves without sound. Naruto doesn't remember what happened after he saw Sasuke's body plummet to the ground.

All Naruto remembers is how those dark red eyes captured him, crystallizing him in a still photo, dragging his soul to death with him. All he remembers is Sasuke's last words: "I will save you, but not on a whim."

Naruto remembers the burning chakra searing his skin, his blood like hot oil boiling from the heat. He remembers feeling the canines of his mouth turn into fangs, the sharp pain in his eyes as they bled to red. He remembers tunnel vision. He remembers a scream, one that wasn't his.

Naruto remembers feeling a wave of relief wash over his body, his mind blank. Sleep.

He never really woke up after that.

Naruto remembers opening his eyes and seeing the faces of his friends change from worry to joy. He remembers being crushed by Sakura's sudden hug. He remembers Sai smiling with tears for the first time. Naruto feels safe for a moment. Then he remembers that Sasuke isn't there.

People tell him the story all the time, thinking the constant reflection of Sasuke's sometimes heroic, sometimes inevitable death will somehow comfort him. The story always changes: some are twisted, some exaggerated. But Naruto remembers. Naruto remembers very well.

He remembers meeting Sasuke in the absolute darkness of night, under the privacy of dense fauna which veiled them in secret. He remembers half truthful promises of forbearance. He remembers scorching touches, blazing stares, frantic kisses.

"I have dreams," he remembers saying. Naruto remembers waking up naked and restless, but fulfilled, each time.

Naruto remembers the day Sasuke died so vividly it scalds his retinas.

Naruto spends his days sitting atop his roof, gazing into the past.

Naruto can't bring himself to leave his grief because he's happier in semi-death with Sasuke then being alive and alone. He knows he's being selfish – everyone is depending on him. But Naruto can't find the strength to move. Sasuke was his first everything. Naruto still wonders why he could never have the one thing he always wanted.

Naruto can't be consoled; he can't mourn Sasuke's death either. How can the dead mourn the dead?

The day Sasuke died, so did Naruto.

**Author's Note:**

> The biblical quote is not meant to preach nor persuade. And don't report me; this drabble is uploaded in two places knowingly!
> 
> Edit: Now translated to Polish by TheFigureHead!


End file.
